Posted on December 22, 2015
In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, eighteenth-century men and women courted each other by attending balls and writing letters. Today, men and women court each other by signing up for match.com and sending text messages. One of the main obstacles in Pride and Prejudice is that Mr. Darcy has too much pride to express any of his feelings to Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth faced this conflict without text messaging, television, and the computer to contend with. Just imagine if Mr. Darcy had tried expressing his feelings in a text message and no, I’m not suggesting a modern-day update to this classic. The romanticism in a text message would have been lost, sending Elizabeth into the arms of Mr. Collins.
Nowadays, technology is aiding in the demise of many relationships before they even get started. Because the cell phone, computer, and other electronics are such a big part of people’s lives, they become a big part of the dating scheme. People have become so dependent on technology that they don’t know how to communicate with prospective dates other than through the cold touch of a keyboard. Because there is no formality with dating anymore, men and women are treating any outing with a potential significant other with the same casualness they would use on a friend.
While we may never be able to get back to the exact romanticism of yesteryear, we can at least try to make dating a little more special:
1. Do Not Breakup via a Text Message
If you’ve been going out with someone for at least a couple of dates, you owe them a phone call. The text message is the coldest form of communication because it says, “I’m too much of a coward to dial seven numbers and listen to your voice. I’d much rather send it in the form of broken sentences with ‘U’ and ‘2’ instead of actual words.” I’ve known of a broken engagement ending this way, as well as a month-long romance. Either way, not cool.
2. Alcohol is Not Progress; it’s Just Alcohol
If someone says “I love you” while intoxicated, it’s not necessarily something to take seriously. This same person who says “I love you” while intoxicated, might also urinate against the side of a building on a dare moments later.
3. Don’t Express Feelings over the Internet or Through a Text Message
How are men and women supposed to know each other’s intentions when words are sprawled across a computer screen without any emotional impact? The Internet utilizes phrases like “lol” for “Laughing Out Loud,” but do they have a phrase for “This is actually a heartfelt message.”?
4. An Unreturned Text Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You’re Unwanted
People have lives. They aren’t sitting there, waiting for your text. If you are sitting around waiting for texts, maybe you should get a new hobby, exercise, something.
In Jane Austen’s time, everything was a production. After all, they had a lot of time on their hands. Letters took days to be sent. Balls were highly anticipated. In the novels, it takes people years before they even kiss one another. Take relish in the little things and savour everything that goes along the way. Don’t push things too much. Let your story unfold on its own.
Posted on October 8, 2015
New to the online dating society? If you are looking for the good tips, proper guide and ways on how to achieve online success, you can visit puredating.net and also, see the important online dating tips below:
#1. When signing or logging in to an online dating site/s, always use good pictures.
We all know that today, there are thousands of users on every online dating sites and there is going to be someone that uses similar pictures that you have and it could be better than yours possibly.
If you really want to meet good people online, you need to secure good pictures and put it in your profile. It’s just that simple. People nowadays like photos that are clear and recent. If you love dark, artsy kind of photos, it is not actually suitable for an online dating profile. You need to take off the hat, sunglasses and better lighting so that people can really look at your profile and see that it is really you in that picture. That is the moment that you will capture their attention first.
#2. If you find people’s profile and they are looking for someone like you, write them up.
When it comes to online dating, it is not like online shopping that you just simply click the product and add it in your list or something. When you are in a dating process, the person you choose actually has some say in the matter.
Before you write to that person, make sure to view her or his profile first and try to view things from their perspective. Ask yourself, do she or he really want to date me? Am I a great match for her or for him?
If you insist in sending or writing your messages to that person, keep in your mind that the site also has email filters in which they automatically send your messages to a special folder for unwanted mail. They based your letter with your age, height, location and other criteria.
#3. Teasing is different from friendly flirting. Don’t do it to someone you don’t even know first.
This is the most important thing that you should remember all the time. Online dating is not a playground for kids, it is for grownups who wish to find perfect match online.
#4. Always ask good questions only.
Yes, you’ve read it right. It means that you should read the profile first and then pay attention to what you are reading. Don’t ask anything that is un-related to any topic you find in his or her profile. Do not ask for questions that are already filled out in his or her profile section. The questions you ask should be interesting to you, and personal enough to connect to them.
#5. Lastly, don’t stalk your date.
If your date has not replied from your messages, you can go on with your busy life. Don’t hover over your sent mail folder if there is no reply yet. Remember that you don’t know this person at all so you should not have any expectations with your messages or any moves that you did. Just relax, do your chores/work, and live your life as if it is nothing.
Online dating is really simple if you follow the rules. There are rules that you should obey in order for you to achieve success with your online dating process. What are your thoughts about today’s topic? Share it with us in the comment section and we’ll talk about it in our next topic!
Posted on July 31, 2015
While you should always have the drive to improve yourself, it’s also important to accept and love yourself the way you are. Unfortunately, self-love is a true talent for some people to master. If you stop and look in the mirror only to notice that you can’t stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself, it’s a good sign that you need to work on the art of self-love.
So how do you stop the hate and start the love? Pick the Brain has some great tips on mastering this important skill, including:
- Find your core set of values and don’t waver from those.
I hated myself the most when I moved toward what I knew was not coming from my true self. I compromised myself. I don’t do that anymore.
- Stop surrounding yourself with people whose words and actions are toxic.
I actually did this by moving to Colorado. I took a sabbatical from toxic relationships and instead surrounded myself with the beauty of the mountains. It doesn’t have to be that drastic, just don’t allow others to steal your beauty.
- Take care of your body.
My body has been good to me, it gave me three children, and it allows me to run, to live and to enjoy the comfort of a lover. So, how did I thank my body? By filling it with stuff that was detrimental to my health. Now I love my body by eating right and exercising. I lost weight and stopped drinking to excess.
- Find the ways of working or living that you enjoy and do those.
I quit a fairly high paying job, with great benefits and started working for myself. The job was killing me and it was not the reason I went into my field. I was compromising a value for more money and a better title. Yes, it’s scary. Even though I stress more over money I am so much happier aligning my true self with my career.
- Make good decisions.
I am a slow processor. My need to mull things over before making decisions was something I didn’t truly understand. Instead of being able to say, “I need some time to think about that,” I would make a hasty decision. Many times I had to try and take back the decisions, making me appear indecisive. I would be so angry at myself for the dumb things I did! My decisions now are becoming more thoughtful and deliberate.
- Speak to yourself gently and with kind intentions.
Use your words toward yourself with the utmost care and consideration. Speak to yourself as if you were speaking to a close friend in a time of need.
By following these, I will eventually be able to master self-love and be a happier person as a result. My journey to self-love took a year. It’s not always easy. Be patient and kind to yourself during this time. When you mess up, forgive yourself. When you fall, get back up. Most importantly, practice loving yourself as you move through this process. Soon the art of self-love will be automatic.
Posted on March 31, 2015
Flirting is an expression of the vibes, feelings and interaction between two people who are fully engaged, totally present and completely enthralled in any given moment. There are many kinds of flirting. The ‘first meet’ is where I take you into the field of flirting with a few of my own simple tips and insights that will bring out the flirt in you.
Here are the 11 flirting tips:
- Make Eye Contact
I do not encourage winking because it’s rather cheesy. It’s the looking of the gaze that will melt you away and bring out your flirtatious nature and it hints if the other person is feeling you.
Let your smile naturally fill your organs and your entire body, making all of you beam a radiant smile at your target. After the gaze and the smile, gently return your attention to the moment, your moment.
- Move Your Body
When your eyes make contact and your lips turn up into a crescent moon smile, your body will follow and do its own dance. Get out of your mind and into your body.
- Speak up
I love complimenting a man on what’s organic about him, like his features, his eyes, his smile, or the way he expresses through his hair. I think if you went for the lips or his buns it may turn up the flame a bit too high and too quick. You don’t want that, you want to be subtle. Remember less is more.
- Introduce yourself or maintain the mystery.
For me, I have a flirt name and then there’s my real name. I choose according to the situation. If you choose to remain a mystery, then refrain from giving your name. Make them work a bit harder to get you to tell your name. Then when you decide to tell your name, whisper it in their ear.
- Ignite a conversation.
You both should be in close proximity by now, hopefully a few inches apart and of course, not yelling across a room or a street. Find some common grounds with this person.
- Be Mindful of Body Cues.
Pay attention to your body and how you feel. Looks can be deceiving but your body knows.
- Break the touch barrier.
More times than not, it may be perfectly okay to initiate touch. And I don’t mean in an overly insinuating way nor clumsy way like falling or tripping over something or your crush, but more so in a safe and slightly conveying way.
- Keep it short & sweet!
To keep demand up, the supply must be scarce. Keep the sensual brush with human nature short and brief.
- Wrap it up!
If there was a click then perhaps you two can meet up for a date. An event, or gathering or anything that is open and public would be a good start
- Play of the Law of Attraction.
The law of attraction is a component of the game of flirting. And it derives from what appears to be a natural order.
The truth is, flirting is an art. And like art, it can be mastered and so, try to practice these things and I can guarantee you can master the art of seduction.
Posted on October 1, 2014
Back in college, I was more of “that girl who doesn’t like anybody”. I mean, I like my friends. I like hanging out and talking with people. To be honest, I love people who could understand what I could say immediately. I had many guy and women friends. We all had a great time with each other.
There never came a time that I entertained the idea of dating. In fact, the farthest thing on my mind during that time was to be a dating guru. All I knew to do at that time was to paint. I loved painting, it always soothed my soul.
Then there was this new guy who couldn’t paint for his own life, but he was so interested in it so it inspired me to show him the ropes. He was attentive and he picked up quite quickly to my surprise. He wasn’t much of a painter yet, but he’s got the focus and skills.
To thank me for my efforts on him, he asked me out on a date. I didn’t know how to react. I just said yes and went there, looking like I just came out of the art room (which was true at that time). For my readers, I do know I don’t have any dating etiquette or anything. It hurts to say that but that is the truth.
I looked embarrassed because he was to introduce me to his friends, who were double-dating with me. They were dressed equally nice and I was wearing a little paint-stricken shirt. I couldn’t concentrate on the things he was saying. Right after the date, he told me that it went alright. But soon enough, communication with him disappeared.
I don’t blame him though. But to this day, I wish I did better during that time. It was around that moment I researched about dating. I researched about speaking, about how to dress myself up. About the proper grooming and etiquette that comes with participating in sophisticated engagements.
No, I wasn’t about to go all-politics with this one particularly for those women raising the bar telling me that he should accept me for what I look like. Girls, we all know this is just an excuse so that we could go do whatever we want and we reprimand him when his efforts for us seem lacking. We all know this and we know it’s all crap.
We want to look good for him. We want to show him our great side. We want to give him a reason to stay with us; to love us. Even if some elitist or purist said true love does not look on the outside, the truth is everyone looks at our appearance and judges us for it. Even if our date or partner tells us that they wil love us no matter how we look like, we want to show them that we look the best we can be because we want to look the best for them.
Feminism or individuality, dating is all about that. It’s all about showing great effort from the start. It’s all about understanding what matters and how much effort you give to the person that you’re giving a chance to be part of your life.
Posted on August 11, 2014
The first date is a tricky thing, at least if you’re not 21 years old anymore and can’t get away with drinking heavily in a loud nightclub until you’ve built up enough courage to make a move. So for that reason alone, here are 10 possibilities for grown-ups.
Hot-air ballooning isn’t cheap, but it will certainly impress. If heights aren’t your thing, a river cruise should go down well, and they’ll have a nice cosy bar if the weather’s chilly.
The Classy Pub Crawler
Walks are always a good date, at least if the weather holds, and everyone likes a good old-fashioned pub. One route that combines both would be to walk across Oxford’s Port Meadow from the famous old Perch pub, finishing with a late lunch or early supper at the magnificently situated Trout in Wolvercote.
I almost didn’t include this because it’s such a cliché, but if you’re in London, go on the London Eye. It’s an amazing experience, it’s not too pricey, and the view is breath-taking.
The great thing about Britain is you are never more than an hour or so from something quite impressive. Honestly. I’ve arbitrarily picked Edinburgh Castle as an example, but I could go to both of Liverpool’s cathedrals on either end of Hope Street, or pretty much anywhere in London, or Oxford, or Cambridge, or Kent, or Canterbury, or Chester, or anywhere, really.
Is the date the sporty type? Can you keep up with them if so? Why not try an afternoon rock-climbing or abseiling, or perhaps going sailing, if it’s a nice day. Other suggestions have included pot-holing, but we would say it’s not what a nice girl does on a first date. Sky-diving is also an option, but very pricey, and make sure they’ve got a head and stomach for heights first.
The Wine Buff
Gordon’s Wine Bar in London’s Charing Cross is cramped, busy and you may have to wait ages for a table at busy times, but it is atmospheric, cosy, and romantic.
Just pick a favourite and make sure it’s an appropriate budget. Call me old-fashioned, but on a first date, I think it’s nice if the chap picks up the tab: others will disagree, obviously. Don’t force the issue either way.
The Animal Lover
I’m aware I’m being quite London-centric, but London Zoo is genuinely amazing: the reptile house is particularly impressive, although it might not have the cute-factor that will get hearts melting. Alternatively, do also try an aquarium: London’s, again, is astonishing if crowded, while the Blue Reef in Portsmouth is very impressive.
The Art Lover
Is he quite the arty type? While whispering your way around a gallery isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, it gives you an obvious talking point if you can both appreciate it.
The Culture Vulture
I know how bad cinemas are for first dates when I’m not 15 anymore? The theatre, sadly, is just grown-up cinema. It doesn’t matter how brilliant Tom Stoppard’s dialogue is, my date and I can’t talk to each other for three hours, so we won’t get to know each other. If you want culture, try late-night openings at a museum: the British Museum is open until 8:30pm on Thursdays and Fridays, and its lovely Great Court restaurant is open late those nights as well.
These are just some of the top venues that I believe are fun for dating. There are still many more wonderful venues in London, try to explore them!